DATE NIGHT: Beauty and the Beast
- Category: "Stardust"
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Perhaps he brushed his teeth, perhaps not. At first glance (which I still go by first impressions.....) the guy looks like he borrowed the clothes he is wearing from an accordian player who lives down the hall from him because he had a date and had nothing to wear.
Now look at the girl. Beautifully dressed, simple but attractive, beautiful makeup, combed hair and clean looking. First class and classy.
But perhaps we cannot entirely blame the guy....after all, she IS going out with him. Apparently, and happy about that. Madison Avenue marketing masters have convinced the American (well, Global) consumer that the dirtier, more unkept, unshaven and pretty much unclothed a young man is.....the more the women want his children.
Come on, ladies! Get your act together and demand something better than this. Granted it is forced on us relentlessly every moment of television (did you know that now commercial time on Prime Time programming consumes more than 50% of your popular show air time?). An otherwise attractive middle aged greying guy tells us that "only Trivago" can find us the best deal on a hotel room.....and I would listen if he combed his hair and shaved off the whiskers.....put on a nice shirt and covered up the T-shirt. Expensive colognes, both women's and men's, have provocative, confusing and utterly nonsensical illusions of gown-draped women climbing ribbons of fabric onto a rooftop to meet a scruffy guy in - yes - a T-shirt and torn jeans. There is no doubt she is madly in love and with great passion and not a single bead of sweat from climbing to the rooftop, she comes face-to-face with an epidermis carpeted by whiskers.
There is no smiling, no happiness, in this "look".....the fellow, in addition to be disheveled must be "concerned-looking" or even scowling to match the persona desired by the ad executives. Gets all the cute girls and sells oceans of cologne. In the advertising business it is called "The Bad Boy Look." It looks bad to say the least....but not the boy: the look.
LADIES: if what you want to be seen out with on date night resembles Mr. Pitt (above) then please simply get your head examined.....wear really dark glasses.....drink wine heavily. Seriously, if this "looks good" to you, man or woman, then please set up an appointment with your shrink or clergy, or perhaps invest in an eye examine.
Truth be told, these guys would dress up for you....they would shave....they would pull their pants up and they would pretty much do whatever YOU asked in terms of looking like they actually CARE about being out in public with you....demand that they do. You deserve it.
Or....do we need to even mention this fellow above? Who on God's earth does this guy appeal to?
This is not to say that I have any executive power to pick and choose how other people dress and behave. I DO have the power, however, to decide who I will associate with and who I would like to be seen in public with. I am also fortunate to have children to whom this Madison Avenue cliche has passed right by.....and they, I believe, are very fortunate to have a father who thinks before he dresses. You will not find a photo of me on anyone's mantle nor dresser that looks anything like what you see above.
Perhaps even worse are the millions of very young men out there, barely passing puberty, who think that they can actually grow whiskers for the 3-day growth look; the result is a pimpled set of cheeks with little patches of growth that actually might be dark mildew if you look closely. Sparse little flurries of dark, wild, facial hair poking out of an otherwise baby-bottom-smooth chin force anyone within conversation distance of the "bad boy" to focus only on the little hairs that are trying their best to create "the look" for a young man yearning for date night.
I was always told by my grandparents "You act the way you dress...." and boy is that not true. Go back and look at all the photos in this Stardust tirade....how do YOU think that each of these persons "BEHAVES" when dressed the way they are?
Fortunately, for all my generations of Sherrods coming up, and all those generations yet to be, they will not have a photo of "PaPa" with his underpants hanging out. Indeed, call me old fashioned, but I still absolutely love to wear a nice tie and sport coat when I take my date out to dinner. If my date is beautiful, she does not need to run her soft cheek up against the scruff of my beard.
Our only hope is that these highly influenced (not "influential") will all grow up and be grandfathers. Surely age will bring some degree of wisdom.
Oddly, however, I must admit that the Bad Boy gets the cute girl in the end....the Beast will end up with the Beauty. At least for a while.
All beautiful women that I have known in my life eventually either grow up or make it to the eye doctor and realize that "clean is good" and perhaps their best adornment of all is the man she is with.
So guys: be clean, dress nicely and not comically, smell good and if you expect the softness of that pretty lady next to you.....buy a razor. You can buy six for under $10.